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From: Stuart Slade
story for upside clown jack_westhead: this dog is bent stuxslade: It makes my heart bleed. And also my apple bleed. jack_westhead: take off your panties and use them as a hat. Tell everyone it is to stop the voices. stuxslade: silvian stuxslade: how are you cutting and slicing the beast this morning? jack_westhead: lengthways with aplomb. It bleeds and screams its pain to the heavens more eloquently than Hamlet. Fucking annoying stuxslade: If Hamlet was a meat he would be veal stuxslade: or maybe chicken, if you want to be sixth-form about it jack_westhead: veally fucking annoying jack_westhead: what are the themes and characterisation of this chicken and can we have a focus group orgy about it? stuxslade: He is an angry young chicken growin up in a turkeys world, pissed cus he doesn't have that wobbly chin thing going on. And then he dies. Very sad jack_westhead: his daddy put his beak up his bottom jack_westhead: then roared stuxslade: But then the big chicken sexer in the sky came down to Ophelia and "nor women also" and then flowers and then water and vase for flowers and water=Ophelia jack_westhead: isn't that the chemical formula for anthracite? jack_westhead: have you eyes? stuxslade: the key to the play my boy. The igneous rock fucks with the sedimentary and then the metamorphic rock just goes to shale in front of their very eyes. Then all is sand jack_westhead: like a beach then stuxslade: and then you die jack_westhead: publish and be damned. i think we've cracked it stuxslade: Call it something trendy like "Geology, Girls and Grafting - Hamlet and the Demiurge of The New" jack_westhead: how about Melopoeia, Phanopoeia, WiganPier- The Trussing of Beauty. jack_westhead: get private eye at lunch its good this time: EXCERPT jack_westhead: BABY 'IS OWN FATHER'': IN AN extraodinary scientific breakthrough, doctors in a Californian clinic have produced a baby by using its own foetal tissue to self fertilise its reporductive cells in IVF conditions using DNA from a GM Soya Bean. "It's amazing", said Dr Stein. "Baby X is his own father, brother, mothe, cousin and vegetable patch". jack_westhead: can i do the cover blurb for our treatise? jack_westhead: This book revolves around three case studies - pregnant bodies in public places, men's bodies in domestric toilets and manager's bodies in Central Business Districts. Pregnant bodies threaten to expel, Men's bodies in public toilets break down bodily boundaries and then make them solid again. Managers wear dark tailored suits that give the appearance of a body impervious to leakage and penetration. It is a book about the fluidity of bodies and also Hamlet. BUZZ!!! jack_westhead: pay attention BUZZ!!! stuxslade: hey - liked your blurb more than an Osprey chick likes dead, stinking and regurgitated fish! Had to do some you know crazy things, but am now allowed to go and play in the toolshed with the powersaws jack_westhead: I have an otter i use as a notepad jack_westhead: In words of Basil Bunting: "Pens are too light. Take a Mescherschmidt to write!" |
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Upsideclone is now shuttered and no longer taking submissions. Upsideclown is an evil cartel of seven who only write in a certain style on certain days of the week, and refuse to expand. Fah, say we! Upsideclone (this site, incase you hadn't noticed) serves to subvert the name of clown and to bring others into the fold. If you've read Upsideclown and old articles here, you get the idea. Submissions are always welcome: We operate a strictly hands-off editorial approach (we won't even correct your spelling). Once submitted, your article goes to the vote by the seven clowns. A majority, and you're in the queue for Friday publications. Go on -- submissions@upsideclone.com. And if you want to know more, hints or clarifications: come ask us in talk. |
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Clare Maguire > 6dec2002 > The Face of The Future |
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